What is weird?

June 14, 2019

Last week I worked at my annual part time seasonal job at the Bohemian Grove, a private men’s retreat in a redwood forest on the Russian River here in Sonoma County. This week a local politician wrote an open letter to members and guests of the Grove, published in a local paper and online, criticizing the Grove for not admitting women as members.

I was not happy with several of her comments, or with the overall tone of her letter. So today I sent her a polite email asking her to clarify three of her remarks. So far, I have yet to hear from her.

But I’m curious about why I had such a strong negative reaction to her letter. After all, I’m not a member or guest of the club, just a temp worker for four weeks each summer for the past nine years. Did I, on some unconscious level, feel that she was attacking me or my co-workers or the work that we do there? Possibly, though consciously at least I realize that her real targets are the rich and powerful men who choose to gather there each summer without their wives or girlfriends. And these men, while polite and respectful to me, are not my tribe. I like them for the most part, but don’t feel a need to defend them. So I’m not sure why I had such a feeling of antipathy toward her screed. Maybe it’s because I love the beauty of the forest and the traditions and camaraderie of the 150 year old club.

In her open letter she addressed a hypothetical member, saying “Stop trying to convince me that the Grove is totally normal. It’s not. It’s weird. But here’s the thing – I don’t have a problem with weird. Try (telling me), ‘Hey, I like to hang out with a bunch of powerful dudes in the redwoods and pee on trees and listen to music and hear famous men speak and burn effigies in weird little tent cities.’ “

Weird little tent cities? For someone who doesn’t have a problem with weird, she seems to have a problem with weird. Especially as someone who admits that she’s never set foot in the Grove, and therefore has never seen these supposedly weird camps.

She goes on to complain, “Many men’s groups come together for same-sex company, but don’t have rules that entirely prohibit females from ever entering certain buildings or rooms…This kind of weird is a little less ‘fun/quirky/free-peeing weird,’ and a little more ‘creepy/witch-trial weird.’ “

Creepy, witch-trial weird? Really?

“I don’t care if you enjoy weird things; quite frankly I don’t give a damn if you enjoy getting drunk and peeing on trees with other dudes.”

Is peeing on trees weird? If so, I plead guilty. As a member of three hiking groups, I can report that women and men in all three groups pee in the woods or in the bushes or wherever and whenever nature calls. One woman likes to refer to leaving the trail for the purpose of a bio-break as “using the facili-trees.”

There are plenty of bathrooms in the Grove, and the men use them almost all of the time. There are also a few women’s rooms as well, since half of the employees are women. There are private weddings and picnics in the Grove occasionally, to which women are invited. My mom and dad attended one such event there in the early 1960’s. And there’s even an annual lunch for county officials, to which the aforementioned female politician is invited. I reminded her of that invitation in my email to her.

I just hope that if she shows up, she doesn’t get drunk and pee in the trees. That would be weird.