What if?

February 4, 2019

What would happen if we were to accept all the social and personal changes that we don’t like?

I’m not happy about population growth, traffic, the proliferation of guns in our culture, the spread of nuclear weapons, racial tensions, climate change, or war. But so what? Is my agonizing about those issues helping to solve the problems?

I appreciate the opportunity to live in a democracy where people are free to express their opinions or ideas. But problem solving is one thing; ranting and fretting are horses of a different color. There’s too much anger and fear being expressed in the public sphere. And sometimes there’s too much anger and fear being felt within me.

So what if I were to accept, for example, climate change, rather than resisting it? The world would continue to get warmer, whether I liked it or not, but at least I wouldn’t suffer while it’s gradually heating up. Sure, I would continue to recycle, conserve energy, and vote for candidates who agree to enact policies to reduce greenhouse gases. But at least I would be free to enjoy whatever time I have left on this planet without despairing about its future.

What if, in the grand scheme of things, it’s OK for the human race to die out, for elephants and tigers and whales to become extinct, for coral reefs to disappear? What if change, and loss, are OK? And even if change and loss are not OK, what if we accept them with grace and compassion?

Many years ago I was diligent in keeping a dream journal, and was pleasantly surprised by the creativity of my imagination while asleep. One dream I remember not for its narrative, but for its message. It featured two high school classmates of mine whose last names were Fine and DeKay. I puzzled over why those two girls had been selected by my unconscious mind to be in the dream story. Then it hit me: decay is fine. In other words, don’t worry, be happy. Then, as now, I had a tendency to carry the world’s problems on my shoulders, and my unconscious mind was telling me to relax and lighten up. I don’t need to control or fix the world. And maybe it isn’t broken. Maybe everything is Fine the way it is.

In high school I kept the following quote on my desk:

There are only two things to worry about: either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. If you are sick, then there are only two things to worry about: either you will get better, or you will die. If you get better, then there is nothing to worry about. If you die, then there are only two things to worry about: either you will go to heaven, or you will go to hell. If you go to heaven, then there is nothing to worry about. If you go to hell, you’ll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won’t have time to worry!

What if we were to dread less, and laugh more? I intend to find out.