Holy Grails

July 23, 2021

Is it better to be in love with a person, or with a cause?

Both can disappoint you. Both can let you down. And both can inspire you and give you a reason to live.

I’m interested in comparing the different forms that devotion can take because this week I’ve been reading two very different works of fiction that do not explicitly address the contrast between these two kinds of love.

The first, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, is on one level a novel about class and the excesses of the Roaring Twenties. But it is also a story about a doomed love affair between two rich people, bootlegger Jay Gatsby and a woman, Daisy Buchanan, who is married to someone else.

The other book I’ve been reading this week is the last book in The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. Although there are some instances of romantic love in The Lord of the Rings, the three books are primarily about the struggle between good and evil and the efforts of several characters, notably the hobbits Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee, to devote their lives to the task of saving their civilization through their selfless attempt to destroy the evil Ring of Power.

I’m probably the first person in history to compare and contrast The Great Gatsby and The Lord of the Rings. And I’m probably the last, especially since it is just happenstance that I, likely the only person in the world who ever has or will do so, ended up reading these two novels at the same time. So now that I’ve expressed that absurd bit of self aggrandizement, let’s see what Fitzgerald and Tolkien can teach us about love.

Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan are hardly the best examples of romantic love. They, and most of the other characters in that novel, are shallow, decadent people. While it’s true that Gatsby fell in love with Daisy, it’s probably more accurate to say that he projected his fantasies onto her and then fell in love with the illusion that he had created.

But we’ve all probably done that at one time or another – I know that I have. Are we really in love with the other person, or are we actually in love with our idea of who they are? What happens when we encounter their shadow side – understanding and forgiveness, or splitsville? Is it realistic to expect one person to meet all of our emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual needs?

Realistic or not, Fitzgerald tells us that “…he [Gatsby] had committed himself to the following of a grail [Daisy].” I don’t think that Daisy was worth pursuing, but hey – it’s Gatsby’s story, not mine.

I do feel, however, that the grail that Frodo and Sam were hunting in The Lord of the Rings was worthwhile. Unlike Gatsby’s selfish chase, Frodo and Sam were on a quest to rescue their society from imminent annihilation. Theirs was a journey of self sacrifice, not self indulgence.

One reason that I’ve read The Lord of the Rings so many times, and will read it again, is that it’s a tale about nobility of character; it’s a tale about a kind of love that is a higher calling – a love for one’s community, a love for all life forms. Even the main romantic love interest in The Lord of the Rings, that of elf princess Arwen and Lord Aragorn, is postponed until Aragorn can fulfill his mission on behalf of all living beings. In other words, the love expressed in the actions of Frodo, Sam, and Aragorn is of a lofty nature, unlike the delusional desires of Jay Gatsby.

I’m not suggesting that romantic love is not worthwhile. In The Lord of the Rings, once their adventures were over, Sam married his sweetheart Rosie, and Arwen gave up her immortality to marry Aragorn. And I’m not suggesting that devotion to a cause is always righteous. Once upon a time I devoted myself to what I thought was a noble cause – world peace and enlightenment based upon Buddhism – only to discover hypocrisy and disillusionment. So doing the right thing is not always a clear choice.

If you look at what’s going on today in the worlds of politics, sports, business, social media, and elsewhere, it seems that honor and integrity have been forsaken in favor of selfish desires for money, power, fame, and glory. There are a lot more Gatsbys around the world these days than there are Frodos, Sams, or Aragorns. Or so it seems, anyway. But I suppose that has always been the case.

So maybe it’s not a question of who or what we love, but how and why we dedicate ourselves to our beloved person or cause.

In other words, what (if any) grail are we chasing, and are we doing so in a loving and selfless manner?