Embracing change

January 10, 2019

So here I was, asleep in bed a few minutes ago and minding my own business, when visions of change came to me. And the changes felt good, if a bit unsettling.

In the first dream, my old friend Joseph said to me, “Let’s get up at 3 a.m. and go exploring Mt. Tamalpais.” My first reaction was to resist such an outlandish suggestion. Joseph is not an early riser, and this idea was totally out of character for him. I came up with various reasons why we shouldn’t follow his impulse: it’s too early, I won’t get enough sleep, it’s too much effort. But then, as I thought about it, a sense of adventure began to appeal to me, and I started imagining all the places we could visit on the way to the mountain, and all the fun we could have hiking and the many great views we would enjoy. Even so, I wasn’t entirely convinced.

In the second dream, Joseph and I were at a lush green park at the coast, waiting to meet our friend Tom. I had been to this park before, but now it was greatly improved and much more interesting. Someone had spent a lot of money upgrading the attractions, and I spoke with a ranger about all the new things to see and do.

In the third dream, I was at my old high school, but instead of being all white and middle class as it was when I was a student, it was now very exotic. All the young people were wearing what appeared to be Afghani and/or Indian dress, as that was now the fashion, and they were all excited about their new clothing styles.

I woke up feeling stimulated and open to new perspectives.

When I was young I was far more open to changes of all kinds: social, political, personal. I used to laugh a lot more than I do now. Now, at 66, I’m more set in my ways, and sometimes feel resistant to the direction in which the world is heading. In fact, lately I’ve been feeling downright pessimistic about the human race. I’ve long considered myself to be a short term pessimist and a long term optimist.

But these dreams made me feel like an optimist, both short term and long term, if I can just learn to let go of fear and trust myself in the moment. Go with the flow, let go of resistance to what is, and allow people and the world to be the way they are, without worrying about how things will turn out in the future.

Easy for me to say. But hey – I’m sitting here naked at my computer, having come straight from bed. No shower or breakfast yet. Changing my ways! Little steps, to be sure. Don’t know if I’ll make any more changes to my behavior or attitudes. Don’t care. Right now, here I am, in this present moment, free to be whoever I want to be.

Yippee!